Harry extricated himself from the mangled Anglia. “Quickly, Ron. This thing is pissed!” He cackled and monkeyed down the writhing branches. Ron peered out the passenger door queasily. “I think I’ll stay right here, mate-” A massive branch reared back, curling into a shape that very much resembled a fist. “Bloody hell,” “Accio, Ron’s robes!” Harry called. Dragged by his lapels, Ron tumbled through the air. “Arresto momentum.” he jerked in the air, orange hair sticking up in odd directions. Panting, Ron grinned. “Thanks mate, thought I was a goner.” Then he went very still, and the frown turned into an expression of utmost dread, focused on a point just above Harry’s shoulder.
“Potter. Weasley,” Snape drawled, disdain dripping from every syllable. “The headcount at Hogsmeade station came up suspiciously short two, and then I spotted Granger absent her imbecilec entourage. You cannot imagine my gleeful anticipation at being the one to arrive here first. I had the displeasure of spending seven years coexisting with your blowhard father, Potter, and yet in all that time, never did I witness him do something even a tiny portion as moronic and ill-advised as flying a madman’s hobby car to Hogwarts. Detention, Potter, Weasley. Detention for every single weekend evening until-”
“Severus!” a familiar voice called from the candlelit castle, striding across the grounds. “I thought to inform you-”
“The headcount came up short,” Snape drawled. “Yes, here stands the reasons why, Headmaster.”
Dumbledore paused and examined the smoldering blue car, driving circles around the Whomping Willow as it flailed and pounded the ground in a vain attempt to reduce the offending vehicle to scrap. He glanced at Ron and Harry.
“What an ingenious alternate route to get to Hogwarts!” he exclaimed, twinkling.
Snape stared at Dumbledore in astonishment. “They could have been seen.”
“Er, dad put an invisibility switch on,” Ron offered. “We left it on all the way.”
Dumbledore hummed and nodded. “Nevertheless, the Statute of Secrecy is not to be toyed with, Messrs Weasley and Potter. Might I ask you what inspired your- innovative mode of transportation?”
Ron nodded. “Yeah, the arch to the platform closed on us, Harry reckons it might be a house elf-”
The Headmaster held up a hand. “Much as I would like to hear the rest of this story – and I would like to, if either of you wish to relay your suspicions over a bowl of lemon drops – you are both fine young men capable of clever problem solving, and I suspect alternatives to your risky venture might have presented themselves if you had given them proper consideration.”
“What’s the point of childhood if not to make memories for a lifetime?” Harry smiled innocently.
Ron, who was trying in vain to flatten his hair into a semblance of order, put on a sheepish smile.
Dumbledore broke into a smile. “Excellent point!” Snape made a noise of disgusted outrage in his throat. “Ten points to Gryffindor for a creative and exciting application of problem solving, and a wonderful new Hogwarts legend that will surely inspire many imitators.”
The Potions Professor turned and stalked off wordlessly, robes billowing all the way up to Hogwarts’s grand doors. He threw them both open and as he passed through, flicked his wand in the air. The portals slammed shut with a resounding boom.
“Professor Snape would make an excellent Drama coach,” Dumbledore sighed. “Sadly, I learned not to pitch the idea to him anymore after that month I was unhappily clean shaven. Come along, boys. If we’re quick, we’ll all get back before the good dishes are gone.” He rubbed his hands in anticipation.